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Writer's Block: Color me curious

If you were a crayon, what color would you be, and why? What color would your ideal mate be, and why?

Either red or black. They're the colors I tend to wear most and for some reason I always pick things that are those colors...Hmmm my ideal mate though would probably be something really bright.  Lime green or cerulean maybe...


So me and my "fiancee" have decided we're going to split up.  The whole long distance thing just tears at us to the point where all we do is fight with each other.  No relationship is worth all that drama.  Maybe this is another sign for me to start living my life to the fullest.  I'll get out of the house more and spend time with new people, MEET new people. haha.  This sounds really bad of me but I feel so....alive.  I can already tell that things are changing.  Maybe this is just what I needed..

So I found out something interesting today also... Since I live in Utah county or somethin like that, I have to microchip/license my cats.  I don't see the point..They're both indoor cats and both declawed.  I mean, I understand it'd be awesome to have in case they ever got outside or something but that's the law now?  I don't recall ever hearing anything about this.  Blah, maybe I just need to be more in the loop.

I got my fifth electric guitar today =] It's so sexy.  5 Gibson King V's.  3 acoustics.  Man...Now I just need to get my drums out of storage and start recording music again..

Writer's Block: Waitin' for a super name

If you were a superhero, what would your superhero name be?

Captain obvious

Writer's Block: Teenage dream

If you arrived at your front door and saw your first love standing there, what would you do or say?

"It's been a long time...What took you so long?"

Writer's Block: It's cold outside

I live in Minnesota, so it's funny to hear people in places like California complaining about the cold. What temperature is too cold for you?

Anything in the single digits.  Weather here in Utah is so bipolar.

Some thoughts/info

This "blog/journal" was an impulse decision.  It's 6:57 in the morning and I haven't been to sleep yet.  My insomnia is really becoming a nuisance these days.  I'm seeing this journal as a means to vent, and hopefully recieve some input, or advice.  Currnently, my living situation or life in general could use some improvements.  I've been stuck at the same dead end job for almost 4 years now, and i'm only 20.  This was my first job. Ever.  I haven't worked in over a week and i'm scheduled tonight.  For only five hours making $8 an hour.  How is a full time college student supposed to live off that?  My paychecks don't even pay my phone bill or put a full tank of gas in my car.   I shouldn't be complaining right? I'm lucky to even have a job with this economy.  I don't mean to sound bitter, but I feel like i'm being ripped off. 
I'm currently engaged..But things are falling apart.  I'm not sure if I love him anymore.  We met when I was first starting high school..I fell in love with him but he cheated on me.  We broke up when I found out he got his best friends girlfriend pregnant. (So high school, right?) After all that drama, and some years later, I took him back.  He joined the Marines and went to Japan.  I only saw him a couple times in all those years.  For the days when he'd come here to visit his dad and little brother.  Then he'd leave again and our relationship is sustained through phonecalls, text messages, and Facebook.  He proposed to me around this time last year and I said yes because I DID love him with all my heart.  But recently i've come to question things.  He wants me to drop out of college and move to California to live with him.  To just leave my family and everyone I know.  I know things with my family aren't the best right now but they ARE family.  We haven't really had a real relationship either.  Never really went on dates, or hung out with each others friends, families or anything of that nature.  How would we be able to live together?  Be married, even.  I feel like if I got married to him and found out down the road that i'm truly sick of this person, that I would have wasted my time.  That sounds incredibly selfish and I feel so guilty for feeling this way.  Should I put myself through this?  We've been fighting nonstop, and it's come to the point where we're questioning if we should split.  I can't ever get a straight answer from him and it frustrates me like no other.  I ask him what he wants..and his reply is "For you to be happy."  But what about what HE wants? Not for my sake but for his.  What HE feels.  What HE wants us to do about this situation.  He's in California, I'm in Utah..He's in the Marines, and i'm in college trying to make it on my own.  I want out of here but  I don't want to leave my family.   I don't know why i'm feeling guilty.